|
|
Marcy: Hi! Welcome to our support group meeting.
John: hi
Marcy: I'm Marcy.
John: I'm John
Marcy: We're a little early... The meeting should start soon.
John: OK
John: Are there many people coming?
Marcy: About 10 expressed interest. But it's hard to say who will
Marcy: actually participate.
Marcy: We're just starting out the support group.
John: You mean some people just come and sit?
Marcy: Oh no! Usually many say they're interested, but only
Marcy: about half show up to the meeting.
John: I see. I'm new to this.
Marcy: Well, so am I. This support group is just starting out.
Marcy: About 4-5 of us have been meeting to just chat about this.
Marcy: If you don't mind my asking, how long have you had this phobia?
Marcy: (I've had it about 25 years.)
John: About 15.
Marcy: Well, I guess the others may be late... so
Marcy: Have you been able to find any help for this phobia?
John: Can we expect at least that those 4-5 people will be here?
Marcy: There's no guarantee.
John: Haven't really been looking for help... just trying to get by.
Marcy: I just sent invitations, and they said they would
Marcy: However, something else may have come up.
John: As a phobic, that's a phrase I never use!
Marcy: (Though someone on my buddy list is online now.)
Marcy: True--sorry about that.
Marcy: Well, I've tried to find professional help for this, and it's
Marcy: been hard to find. Most therapists haven't heard of this.
John: Someone in the news group was talking about that about a year ago. Sent the titles of some
John: articles, but I never looked them up.
Marcy: You know, you're the first guy I've talked to with this phobia.
Marcy: The others I've met have been women.
John: Really? The person who told me about this is male, and I think the person
John: who was talking about it in the group was male too.
John: Although it may have been female... androginous name
Marcy: I've been trying to figure out what must cause this phobia.
Marcy: I thought it was a female thing, but I guess not.
John: And?
Marcy: The only thing I've noticed just talking to others with it
Marcy: is that it seemed to start after a traumatic event
Marcy: having to do with getting sick, around the age of 8-10.
John: Yes, that's what happened to me.
Marcy: Also, not having much parental support during that experience.'
John: I've noticed that the people who are most afraid never vomit.
Marcy: I never do. I haven't since I was 13. Now I'm 39.
Marcy: Hi Teresa!
Marcy: I'm so glad you could make it!
Teresa: Hi I finally made it!
John: Hi
Marcy: This is John.
Teresa: Hi everyone, glad to be here. Hi John!
Marcy: I'm not sure who else is going to make it. Several others
Marcy: said they would... maybe they're late?
John: No maybe about it...
Teresa: Could be--I had to sign o;n through my second #--got your letter today
Marcy: Good!
John: I didn't get one :(
Marcy: Well, John and I were just talking about how the phobia
Marcy: started for us...
Marcy: I was telling him that he was the first guy I'd talked to
Teresa: Ironically, I had a dream i was ill last night and it scared me when I woke up!
Marcy: who has this.
Marcy: Oh no!
Teresa: Me, as well! John, How did yours start?
John: I was 8. Haven't vomited since I was 10.
Teresa: You are extremely lucky! How have you dealt with it?
Marcy: Are you just very healthy?
John: Being a careful eater mostly.
Teresa: I am the same--very little meat and no fast food stuff! Marcy knows I have lost 50 pounds s
John: Usually... I think maybe my brain is programmed not to vomit. Yours too.
Teresa: since this first manifested last summer!
John: How old are you, Teresa?
Teresa: I wish my brain would program the same! I am 25
John: Marcy just said it usually starts at 8-10. How did you become pghobic at 25?
Teresa: I am still trying to figure that out (with Marcy's help). I've always been afraid of being
Teresa: sick, just not to the extreme level that I am at now
Teresa: I had a bout with food poisoning two Summers ago and I think the fears starting surfacing ag
Teresa: again from thart
Marcy: So, John, how do you cope when you get the flu, etc.?
John: What do you mean by flu?
Marcy: Well, the stomach flu, or any kind of nauseating situation
John: I can't actually say I've ever felt nausea... maybe the time I was 10. I don't think I've
John: ever had what people call stomach flu. At least if I did I didn't vomit.
Teresa: What do you do for a living?
John: I'm in the computer industry.
Teresa: So you're only exposed to cyber viruses--sorry bad joke. Seriously, I teach and
Teresa: I am constantly faced with it and Marcy is a mom with the same problem
Marcy: Yes, I don't know how you do it, Teresa!
John: So that means you survived your pregancy without vomiting.
Teresa: When i get in a situation I have major anxiety and panic attacks
Marcy: Yes. I didn't even have morning sickness.
Teresa: I am hoping for the same, Marcy!
John: How did you feel about getting pregnant with your phobia, knowing the likelihood?
Marcy: Well, I was pretty naive back then (7 years ago.) I didn't
Marcy: realize that a lot of women do get morning sickness.
Marcy: I had a few friends who didn't though, and so I tried to
Marcy: focus on their good fortune, and will myself not to.
John: Here's why I think my brain has short-circuited. I MUST have been exposed
John: to viruses or tainted food sometime in the past 20 years. I think my brain somehow
John: kept me from vomiting those times.
Marcy: So you've never even felt queasy all these years since the
Marcy: age of 10?
Teresa: Do you think your fear overrode your brain? I know that vomiting is an involuntary action
John: I'm not all that sure what "queasy" feels like. I get heartburn, etc. but can't quite put
John: my finger on nausea.
John: Yes, I think the conscious part of my brain somehow overrode the vomit reflex. Sounds like
Marcy: Well, I've felt nausea in the last 25 years but fought off
John: Marcy's has too.
Marcy: the urge to throw up.
John: What does it feel like? Would I know if I had it?
Teresa: I'm not there yet--I've been sick twice this past year
Marcy: I think so. It feels AWFUL
Teresa: It's like this wierd feeling nyou can't put distinguish--you know something's wrong but you'
Teresa: re not sure what
John: I read that nausea comes with an eversion to food. So i I feel strange, I ask myself, how
John: about some ice cream, and if I say that would be OK, I know it's not nausea.
Teresa: yes, you usually do not want any type of food if you are nauseated
John: So how many times in your life can you remember vomiting?
Teresa: 5-10?
Marcy: Well, with me under 10 times, and all before the age of 13.
John: I can only remember 3
Teresa: I was sick as a child a few times then i went for years but since I've began teaching
Teresa: I've been sick 3 times
Marcy: I think it's so brave how you go into that classroom each
Marcy: day, Teresa!
Marcy: (She teaches Kindergarten!)
Marcy: (they're always barfing)
John: Well, you're immune for some time after each illness, you know.
Teresa: Thanks! You should feel the same--you have to actually stay around them for
Teresa: an extended period of time by yourself! Yes, I am thankful for the immunity
Teresa: but I also wonder when it will wear off...
Marcy: It seems like a new strain of stomach flu is always going
Teresa: That makes me feel better, Thanks. Marcy has been very helpful introducing me to
Marcy: around my area.
Teresa: some herbs and natural supplements
Teresa: I agree, Marcy, the latest is a 12 hour thing here
Marcy: It seems to go around in winter (Christmas time) then again
Marcy: in the spring.
Teresa: Yes, the last time I was sick was in March or April I think
John: I think Marcy and I are afraid partly because we're inexperienced. Why are you afraid, Teresa
Teresa: besides the winter one
Teresa: I am afraid b/c I faint before I vomit so I can get to the bathroom then it's lights out
Teresa: I wake up and don't know what's going on
Teresa: At least, the fainting is the only logical catalyst I can think of
Teresa: I struggle with that question often
John: Who knows about your phobia?
Marcy: I think that mine is partially fear of the unknown, and
Teresa: My family, boyfriend, and some very close friends
Marcy: also something having to do with keeping control.
Teresa: I think control plays a big part--it's like you lose control
Teresa: Maybe in the first newsletter you can mention that paper the Dr. wrote
Teresa: about hypnosis to control the phobia
John: I barfed when I was 6. But I never thougt that it would happen again, like chicken pox.
Marcy: You sound like you're very healthy.
Teresa: I wish--I have a prescription for compazine which worked the last time I felt nauseaos
Marcy: Was that the flu Teresa?
John: Then when I was 8, I puked in my sleep. It was really horrible! I've been phobic since.
Teresa: I think--like a bug
Marcy: I just wonder why we have this phobia, yet so many others
John: I find that not thinking about it helps a lot.
Marcy: are able to handle this physical act...
Teresa: What is your phobia like, John? Does it play a major part in your life and decisions?
John: Not as much as it used to. I've gotten used to the idea that I probably won't, so
John: there's no point in worrying about it.
Teresa: I think not thinking about could come back and haunt you--I think that's what happened in my
Marcy: I wish I could be certain I wouldn't ever. Then I would
Teresa: case--it all came flooding back among other things
Marcy: not think about this so much.
Teresa: Me too
John: You mean after 26 years, you still worry you might puke tonight?
Teresa: Yes, that's why I know I need help
Marcy: Yes. I still think it's possible I could catch the flu, and
Marcy: it could happen.
Marcy: I mostly have the panic though when my 6 year old actualy
John: You've probably caught it but nothing happened.
Marcy: has the flu, and I'm carring for him.
Marcy: Well, I had extreme nausea, and managed to fight it off.
John: I try not to worry. Even when I was on a rough ferry last year, I did my best not to worry.
Marcy: You must have a strong stomach!
Teresa: Yes, i think you've built up a good immunity with your diet and vitamins!
John: To think there was a time when I wou;dn't have THOUGHT of going on a ferry.
Teresa: A very strong stomach--that's wonderful you went! You must be making or made progress
Teresa: How old are you John?
John: Once I was staying with my cousin, and he came down with severe gastroenteritis (sp)
John: I fasted for two days, but then decided that was ridiculous.
John: I'm 30.
Marcy: Well, when my son has the flu I eat very very sparingly.
Marcy: Just enough to maintain life.
John: I think that was the turning point.
Teresa: It sounds like you have strong discipline! I also watch my intake around bug times
Teresa: Marcy, the echinacea seems to really work for you, yes?
John: I'd like to travel abroad, but fear having to deal with my fear while on vacation.
Marcy: Yes! That and lots of Vitamin C
John: Either of you been to Europe?
Marcy: That's how I feel about foreign travel.
Teresa: I can relate--never been to Europe but just went to the bahamas--it was my first trip since
Marcy: No, but I lived in Japan for a year.
Teresa: the dreaded food poisoning incident. It was hard, I was packed with compazine
John: Wow! Even George Bush's stomach couldn't abide Japan.
Marcy: That's so ironic he got sick there... I saw a lot less stomach
Marcy: flu while in Japan than I do in a typical year here.
Teresa: Do you have any definite plans for travel?
John: Me?
Teresa: Yes
John: Staying stateside for now!
Marcy: How about you Teresa? Would you go overseas?
Teresa: I know the feeling! Have you talked to anyone professionally? Probably not until
Teresa: I feel I have a better handle on this..I wouldn't want my trip to be ruined by
Teresa: this irrational fear
Marcy: When I went abroad to Japan, it was when this fear was
Marcy: in remission and I was leading more of a "normal" life.
John: Didn't you ever get drunk, Teresa?
Teresa: Yes, I was sick three times due to overindulgence but it didn't seem to affect me
Teresa: as much as "bugs" do. I did faint during those times though
John: I don't drink much. Part is fear of vomiting, but mostly fear of alcholism.
Teresa: I also traveled a lot when my fear was in remission--cross country to LA, Washington state,
Teresa: Bahama
Teresa: Yes, I haven't drank in two years. I am on medication and I choose to enjoy life
Teresa: without chemical help! (Non-prescription that is)
Teresa: Do you have a history of alcoholism in your family, if you don't mind me asking?
John: Some... but it's the distant kind... you never know where it'll strike.
Teresa: Yes, i have a history of anxiety disorder so I think some of this comes from that
Teresa: Arent' genetics great?
Marcy: Phobias run in my family also.
Marcy: I think that my developing this phobia might also be because
Marcy: I suspect my mom had it too.
Teresa: I really believe in genetic linking to this fear or others for that matter
Teresa: Yes Marcy i remember you talking about that--have you ever addressed it with her/
John: No, I think I got it because I didn't puke often enough to recognizr it as normal.
Teresa: That's another perspective I hadn't thought about. Some people can be sick and carry on li
Marcy: Yes, but she's not able to talk about it straightforwardly.
Teresa: like it's nothing---I'm glad that you can talk about it, Marcy, I think that will play
Teresa: a big part in your recovery
Marcy: I think that it's important that children get a lot of
Marcy: parental support and comforting when they vomit.
Marcy: If they don't I think this phobia can develop.
John: When I vomited as a child, it wrecked my whole year! I secretly envy people who can vomit
John: and go on like normal.
Teresa: I agree--we have a wonderful school nurse thank goodness b/c it's very hard for me to be
Teresa: of any comfort! I outwardly envy them!
Marcy: Me too! I was in a meeting the other day, and my friend
Marcy: who is pregnant ran from the room to throw up.
Marcy: When she came back, she just went right back to what
Marcy: we were talking about. amazing.
John: And... if they're drunk or pregant, you don't have to worry about catching it.
Teresa: Our pe teacher did the same one day
Teresa: yes, I can handle that kind of sickness!
Marcy: I just can't seem to do it, and often tell myself I can't
Marcy: Teresa, Do you feel that your professional therapy helped you?
Teresa: Everything that I've read says positive self-talk and turning your thinking around! Easier
Teresa: said than done!
Marcy: (if you don't mind sharing that is.)
John: Cant do what, Marcy?
Marcy: Throw up.
Teresa: I know it helped with other issues which probably helped in some way but i still feel i have
John: Have you ever tried?
Teresa: a long way to go--I don't like relying on medication
Marcy: Hi Nancy!
Marcy: This is Teresa and John.
Nancy: HI! My apologies! I totally spaced the meeting!
Teresa: You know, This may be a dumb question but can humans catch things from anim
Teresa: als? Hi Nancy, Glad to finally meet you!
Nancy: a pleasur to meet all of you!
John: I don't think so. Fleas?
John: Hi Nancy
Nancy: hi John
Marcy: I think it depends on what it is. I don't think we can catch
Marcy: most viruses from animals.
Teresa: I can handle fleas!
Nancy: you CANT catch "it" from animals...they are different strains
John: Still, it would be advisable to use a condom ... aw, forget it
John: Bad joke
Nancy: lol
Marcy: But, I think we can be affected by bacteria from them.
Teresa: Thanks--I didn't think so but this phobia makes you paranoid!
Teresa: That's OK John, we're even for the computer virus joke
John: I think cat vomit is the most disgusting substance on earth
Nancy: EWWWWWWWWW
Marcy: I'll ask my husband (microbiologist) .
Teresa: It even scares me when animals are sick
Nancy: me too Teresa
Marcy: She hasn't shown yet... Was she planning to?
John: So why would you be around sick animals?
Nancy: I thought she would be here
Marcy: Maybe she'll be late...
Teresa: I have pets and so does my friends/boyfriend
John: Oh yeah, I chastised Marcy for saying "in case something comes up"
Nancy: .lol
John: So what's your phobia, Nancy?
Nancy: I am an emetophobic
Nancy: also agorophobic
John: Funny ... that's what we were talking about till you got here.
Marcy: We are all emetaphobic, as this is a support group for
Nancy: well,thats what the group is for right?
Marcy: emetaphobics.
Nancy: you arent emetophobic John?
John: yowsa
Teresa: Nancy, i was "mildly" agorophobic too and am stil dealing with some aspects
John: So how long have you been phobic, Nancy?
Nancy: I am not totally housebound, prbably about 50/50
Nancy: I have been phobic since about age 9or so
John: So what's it like for you?
Teresa: I was the same, usually due to panic attacks
Nancy: same here Teresa
Nancy: it is Teresa right?
Teresa: Yes! Has anyone talked to a therapist, etc.?
Nancy: I have!
Teresa: Me, as well, any insights?
John: no, never
Marcy: I talked to many. Never found one who knew what to do
Marcy: with me.
John: What did some of them suggest?
Teresa: I think your luck will change soon!!
Nancy: oops got IMed sorry
Nancy: my therapist has some good ideas as to what causes emet but offers no solution yet
John: What does she think causes it?
Teresa: relaxtion exercises, self-hypnosis, medication (in my case)
Teresa: Actually, everything I've heard/read tells you to disregard the cause and look to the soluti
Teresa: on
Nancy: he thinks that there are MANY stressors that go into it like......
Nancy: but what is the solution?
Teresa: But I think the solution lies in your cause
Nancy: my therapist thinks (and I agree) that it is a control issue of sorts
Teresa: I wish I knew Nancy--hopefully we'll find it
Marcy: What are the stressors your therapist has mentioned, Nancy
Nancy: abuse, loss of control over things that we should have had control over as children
Nancy: like our bodies
Nancy: and our thoughts
Nancy: and our feelings
John: I think everyone would be phobic if they hardly ever vomited, like we did.
Teresa: I agree--control plays a part in everything
Nancy: I agree John! Have you ever done "it"?
Teresa: I wish I could be in that group with you John!
John: Not for about 20 years
Marcy: I agree also John.
Marcy: I think part of my problem is fear of the unknown.
Nancy: I have often wondered if I just did "it" if I would be cured?
Nancy: but I dont wanna try it!
John: Hmm... last time anyone asked if I'd done "it" they were talking about something else.
Marcy: Me neither. It can remain the unknown!
Nancy: LOL!
Teresa: Yes I agree Marcy! I can attest Nancy, doing it is not the cure!!
Nancy: John, how old are you?
John: 30
Nancy: so you have done it alot Teresa?
Teresa: I teach kindergarten so I have been sick 2 times in the past year-yuck!
John: What about you, Nancy?
Nancy: ARGHHHHHHH!
Teresa: Last time, I popped a compazine and it worked
Nancy: I am 28 John
Teresa: or else it might have been 3
John: No, I mean about "it"
Nancy: oh.hehe...have done it 3 times over lifetime
John: When was the last time
Nancy: um....... 87 I think
Nancy: september 29 to be exact
John: You remember the exact date? Was it an embarassing occasion?
Teresa: My computer is going down--on a laptop with no plug! Please email me if you want to talk!
Nancy: no...I just remeber EVERY TIME!
Nancy: nice meetin you Teresa!
Marcy: Oh no! Bye Teresa!
John: CU Teresa
Teresa: Marcy, i'll write soon!! Good luck and good health to everyone! Nice meeting you!
Nancy: :)
Marcy: Bye
Marcy: I'm so glad you made it. I'll write soonl.
John: So how old were you when you became phobic, Nancy?
Nancy: about 9 I guess
Nancy: but it wasnt awful until the last 5 years or so
John: To bring you up to date...
John: We were talking about how I think our phobia caused our vomit neurons to be short-circuited
Nancy: so we CANT do it?
Nancy: didnt know I had such neurons?
John: How severe was your phobia between the time you voimited at age 9 and then in 87?
Nancy: well..it was there but I didnt focus on it so much I guess..it didnt interfere with normal
Nancy: daily routine
John: Well, the vomit part of the brain is on autopilot, like breathing.
John: I think mine and Marcy's conscious brain has overridden our vomit circuit.
Marcy: Well I sure hope that's the case! I wouldn't mind it at all.
Nancy: I hope mine has too.but dont you still get scared that you will do "it"?
Marcy: I can't completely rule out the possibility I will and so still
John: Marcy has been pregnant and spent a year in the Orient and didn't vomit.
Marcy: worry.
Nancy: I have 2 kids and dint do it either
John: I try not to worry about it so much. I figure I'm immune or something. Why worry?
Marcy: Well, the constant worry is all part of this phobia for a
Marcy: lot of us.
John: If I feel off, I worry, Otherwise no need to.
Nancy: but I thought thats what emetophobia was.......the worrying part
Nancy: worried that I will get it from someone
Nancy: I start to feel sick if I have been exposed
John: Mine isn't as constant as it used to be. Like I said, I went on an ocean ferry last year.
Nancy: or if I think I may have been
Nancy: YOU ARE BRAVE!!!!!!
John: So I took the pill first...
John: But ther was a time when I wouldn't have left shore.
Nancy: I wouldnt have even gotten ON the damn boat!
Marcy: When my phobia was in remission, I did things like go out
Marcy: deep sea fishing.
John: You missed a lot being late. I said earlier that I think the turning point for me was when
Nancy: I used to fish all of the time..now I cant go on a boat at all
John: I was exposed to gastroenteritis and fasted for two days. I decided it wasn't worth it, so
John: I ate and stayed OK.
Marcy: Do you have much exposure to little kids, John?
John: I wouldn't go out on the sea without the Bonine. A lake boat is OK.
John: No.
Nancy: I think alot of my problem lies with the exposure to my kids
Nancy: kids heave all of the time
Marcy: Me too. Little kids barf and get the flu all the time!
Nancy: and expose you to icky germs
John: There was a time when I lived with my family when my brother was in Jr High.
John: I had some awful panics when he (or his everpresent upchucking friends) got sick.
John: I used to sleep in the winter with the window open, hoping the virus wouldn't be able to liv
Marcy: My worst panicky times are when my son has or has just
Marcy: had the flu.
Nancy: thats what I deal with day to day. Rarely a day goes by when someone at the school isnt sic
Marcy: (That was a good idea about the window. A nurse friend
John: I don't think I could ever live with other people in a house with forced air heat.
Marcy: told me those viruses can't tolerate cold air.)
John: But was it worth it for me to sleep in a sleeping bag in bed?
Nancy: I wont even go in a car without the window down
Marcy: I know what you mean, Nancy about the constant threat when
Marcy: you are around kids a lot.
Nancy: it is hard, but I am learning new coping skills
Nancy: I am learning NOT to panic if I feel ok
John: (Can we make a point to not use the ambiguous term "flu"? Let's refer to a respiratory
John: condition as "influenza" and a vomit-causing one as "gastroenteritis.")
Nancy: too long to type
Marcy: You are right on that point, John. Stomach flu is not a flu.
John: But people don't always know what you mean by flu. At least say stomach flu or GI flu.
Nancy: how about just gastro?
Marcy: will do.
Nancy: so you dont live with anyone John?
John: Here's something else. I know some people puke and puke when they are sick.
John: The three times I barfed as a kid, there was only one episode. Is that common? Unusual?
John: No, I live alone.
Marcy: I've wondered about that too. When I did barf as a kid
Marcy: I would only barf once.
Marcy: I know adults and kids who barf all night.
Marcy: I don't know....
Marcy: (where she went)
John: The last time I held out as long as I could, then gave in.
John: Perhaps if I'd barfed when I first felt ill, I would have done it again.
Marcy: Well, I wonder how much of the vomit reflex is voluntary
Marcy: and how much is involuntary.
John: I just decided I'd had enough of whatever was wrong with me. Nausea? Food poisoning?
John: So I took a couple of deep breaths and then I vomited. I think I could have held out a lot
Marcy: Well, you sound braver about how you approach this phobia
John: longer, but I felt better right away afterward.
Marcy: than I am. I just refuse to vomit.
John: How so?
Marcy: And you don't dwell on this phobia as much.
John: Well, I was only 10. Like I said, I haven't vomited since.
John: I've been dwelling on it for 22 years!
Marcy: Well I get the impression you don't dwell on it so it
Marcy: interferes as much with your daily routine.
John: Ii don't let *irrationality* control me, but if I feel the least bit unwell, I get very edgy
Nancy: sorry.......I got booted....:(
John: Welcome back, Nan. You were spared a graphic description of my last puke when I was 10.
Nancy: wheew! Glad I missed that one!
Nancy: if I disappear again..I got booted again
John: So anyway, Nancy, what made you vomit in 87, if I may ask?
Marcy: You mean AOL just boots you off?
Nancy: actually....it was during labor with my first child
John: No wonder you remembered the date! Kidder!
Nancy: my computer said GOOD BYE and booted me
Nancy: I remember the other dates too though
Marcy: I've heard of that happening-- transition phase?
Nancy: yup!
John: What were they? Perhaps I could find a cosmic connection. ;)
Marcy: Boy if that had happened to me during transition I would
Marcy: have really slugged my husband!
Nancy: hehe......June 25, 1981, and May 25, 1977
John: Anyway, after I puked (and this was more then 20 years ago), I thought that I'd been afraid
John: for 2 years of nothing... but then that afternoon, my phobia was back.
Nancy: ya know..the few times I did it I had the same feeling for awhile after
Nancy: I thought...that wasnt so bad
Nancy: but he the phobia came right back
Marcy: After I did it when I was 13, I completely forgot about it
Marcy: until I was 28.
Nancy: I was about 25 when mine resurfaced
Nancy: to where it is REALLY bad I mean
John: 5/25/77 was a Wednesday, 6/25/81 was a Thursday, and 9/29/87 was a Friday. Looks like
John: you're due for a Saturday.
Nancy: 9-29 was a Tuesday!
Marcy: (I'll be right back.)
Nancy: k
John: You're right
Nancy: :)
John: Do you have any idea what caused your earlier episodes?
Nancy: I do have a few that I can recall but I am not sure if they are related
Nancy: I had to have my stomach pumped at 3 because I downed a bottle of baby aspirin
Nancy: and when I was 8 or 9 and was feeling really queezy
Marcy: Sorry-- I have to go-- My son is upset about something.
Nancy: mo mother
Nancy: in her infinit wisdom
Nancy: crammed a hot wash cloth dwon my throat
John: see you Marcy. Perhaps log back on later!
Nancy: to try to make me vomit
Marcy: I need to comfort him. Thanks!
Nancy: Bye Marcy
Nancy: oops..she is gone
John: Oh no! No wonder you're phobic. But why did she do that?
Nancy: the washcloth thing was very traumatic for me
Nancy: she was tired of listening to me whine about the nausea I guess
John: My phobia stems from a really traumatic puke at age 8. I puked while I was sleeping.
Nancy: were you at home?
John: Yes. That's where I slept... in those days.
Nancy: well...couldve been at a friends..ya never know
John: It gets worse. I was sucking my thumb at the time.
Nancy: oh noooooo
Nancy: did you aspirate?
John: Thank God, no. But the thumb made a reeeally good stopper.
Nancy: EWWWWWWWWWw
Nancy: how did your parents handle it?
John: And after my mouth filled with it, the thumb came loose and the puke shot everywhere.
Nancy: EWWWWWWWw
John: They were more understanding then I thought they'd be.
Nancy: at least they were supportive though
John: But I think I had one of those epidemic viruses (it was going around that year) because
Nancy: my mom just got aggrevated with me
John: I think they both caught what I had.
Nancy: yucko!
Nancy: that would have been traumatic to spew like that
John: Here's the real kicker...
Nancy: oh god...do I want to know?
John: I forgot to rinse my mouth before I went back to sleep. I could taste it for weeks after.
Nancy: that is pretty bad
Nancy: my 77 episode was traumatic as well
Nancy: I was at my Grandmas hous
John: But I learned my lesson. When I was 10 I rinsed right away and thankfully haven't had a
John: chance to experiment since.
John: Yeah?
Nancy: and had NO idea I was nauseous
Nancy: I thought I was hungry
Nancy: I woke up from sleep
Nancy: and starting yelling that I was hungry
Nancy: so she fixed me a bowl of lucky charms in the middle of the night
Nancy: I took one bite and WHAMMOOOOOOO
Nancy: ALL over her kitchen table
Nancy: I think it was traumatic cuz I didnt have a clue it was coming
John: You were about 8?
Nancy: yeah
Nancy: it was gross
Nancy: spaghetti
John: That's the same thing with my bed experience. Not only did I not feel it coming,
John: I didn't think I'd ever barf. I barfed when I was 6 and I think I thought that was it, like
John: chickecn pox.
Nancy: LOL! wouldnt that be great?
Nancy: a once in a lifetime deal
John: Well, for me and Marcy, that's kind of how it is. I've gone over 20 years and she
John: claims 26 vomit-free years.
Nancy: I have 10 anti barfing years under my belt
John: But still we worry all the time. It's so sad.
Nancy: and then there is Miriam
Nancy: she is a fellow anti chucker
Nancy: she has NEVER spewed
John: Do you celebrate Sept. 29? Hehe Of course you do. It's your baby's birthdta.
Nancy: and shes 27
John: Is she phobic too?
Nancy: I think about it EVERY YEAR
Nancy: yes she is REALLY phobic
Nancy: AND due top have a baby any day
John: Are you sure she's never ever?
Nancy: she said her mom said once when she was 2 but thats all
John: Funny. My family thinks the same of me. They remember the time like that when I was three.
John: But they've forgotten the three that I remember.
John: And I'm not going to correct them!
Nancy: isnt that weird?
Nancy: that they remember differently than you?
John: I suppose parents can't remember every child's every spew,,,
Nancy: are you afraid of getting carsick?
John: It's pretty rare
Nancy: or airsick?
John: No, I've never been motion sick, but I take Dramamine before going to sea.
John: I do avoid some amusement rides though.
Nancy: I have never been carsick either, (or airsick) and I used to LOVE rllercoasters
Nancy: but now I wont fly, wont boat, and HAVE to be the driver
John: Rollercoasters you wouldn't puke on. But watch those circular rides...
Nancy: I used to do the Egg scrambler till they kicked me off
Nancy: You wont even catch me on a ferris wheel anymore
John: It seems odd that instead of celebrating our vomit-free years, we fear the ones that are
John: coming.
Nancy: I do the bumper cars though
Nancy: that is so true!
Nancy: I will even water ski....I just wont get IN the boat
John: Are you married, Nancy?
Nancy: yup..been married for 9 years
John: What does your husband think of your phobia?
Nancy: well......he tries to understand, but basically he thinks I am just weird I guess
Nancy: my kids think its weird too
John: What are you like to be around him when he pukes?
Nancy: Thank GOD they arent scared of this
Nancy: I am a total wench when my hubby is sick
Nancy: I avoid him like the plague
John: Does he mind that you don't help him?
Nancy: and get pissed at him for something he cant control
Nancy: no..he could puke on command
John: What do you mean?
Nancy: he doesnt mind getting sick at all
John: oh. I do.
Nancy: he will throw up and then eat a burger
Nancy: and then thwor that up too
John: I suppose puking to him is like sneezing or coughing is to us.
John: Just another symptom to be forgotten in a minute.
Nancy: I guess....even my 9 year old doesnt get bothered by getting sick
Nancy: I wish I had half the strength that my 9 year old has
Nancy: when it comes to chucking it
John: Are you afraid of diarrhea too?
Nancy: not really...But I will panic because I think it might turn into vomiting
John: Me too. About the only time I get into a panic anymore is when I have unexplained
John: diarrhea that doesn't cease after one round. (Sorry to be gross.)
Nancy: LOL...I know what you mean. I have IBS due to stress and panic
Nancy: so I get the shits all the time
John: See, that makes diarrhea seem normal so it doesn't bother you. Just like barfing would be
John: if we'd done it more.
John: So... how many times has your 9 year old vomited?
Nancy: that is true,....I am not scared of the shits.....just that the shits and puking go together
Nancy: My 9 year old had puked plenty!
Nancy: I cant even count the times
John: See... I think that makes the difference. My sister and brothers were the same way.
John: I don't think they're phobic at all.
Nancy: my sister too...When the GI bug was going around she pukes and I shit
John: See, that's what I mean about our brains being wired not to vomit.
Nancy: that could be true...but I always worry that my number is up
Nancy: I even get scared talking about it sometines
John: Oooh... you had to say "up."
Nancy: I think it will happen if I talk about it
Nancy: LOL
John: I never told anyone until last year. Thank God for the net!
Nancy: me either....my husband didnt even know
Nancy: I just fessed (up) in January myself
Nancy: although everyone could probably tell anyways
John: I wonder if my parents even could tell. At one time, my mom thought I might be bulimic. HA!
Nancy: I was diagnosed with anorexia
John: If only she'd known the truth.
Nancy: yeah.thats what I said tii
Nancy: too I mean
John: She thought I had an eating disorder because I ate so little and was so thin
John: Just like her, actually.
Nancy: I have been hospitalized for malnutrition twice
John: But now I eat and eat and am a healthy weight. I doubt that anyone can tell.
Nancy: Im a porker now myself
John: I enjoy eating more since I don't obsess about vomiting (much).
Nancy: I am working toward that myself
Nancy: I have gotten to where I can evaluate how I really feel when I am panicking
John: I was like you when I was 10 years down the road myself. 15 and 20 years made
John: me realize I'm missing too much to obsess. Since my vomit nerves are probably dead anyhow
Nancy: I pray to God I make it another 10 years
Nancy: I want dead nerves too
John: I celebrated the day I had gone half my life without vomiting.
Nancy: I am tired of missing out on life
Nancy: I used to be so hyper
John: Hey, I think 2/3 is coming up... er, imminent.
Nancy: I went everywhere
Nancy: LOL
Nancy: I am workin on 1/3
Nancy: fairly safe career choice
John: Thanks. You'll make it too, I hope.
John: Just try to enjoy those days.
Nancy: I have also noticed one more thing about us emets
John: Wuzzat?
Nancy: although you are the first male I have encountered with this "affliction"
Nancy: not to sound boastful or anything but....
Nancy: we are all of above average intelligence
John: Well, we're all on the Net too. That's kind of a filter for intelligence.
Nancy: or at least that goes for the ones I know
Nancy: I am sure there are plenty more of us in the real world
John: And if you're intelligence, chances are, the people you associate with are too.
Nancy: the only emets I know of are on line
Nancy: but I see your point
Nancy: the stupid emets may be out there too
John: I dated a woman once who was phobic. I never told her I was. I could see her reluctance to
John: eat some things, kind of what you described. So sad.
John: Welcome back, Marcy!
Nancy: welcome back Marcy
John: We've just decided that we e-phobics are highly intelligent.
Nancy: so why didnt you share with her?
Marcy: Oh yes!
Marcy: My son was very upset so I had to take a break.
Nancy: anybody else know what their IQ is?
John: Like I said, I only came out last year.
Nancy: it is just a theory of mine
Nancy: and I qualify for Mensa
John: But like I said, most of the people you know and on the net are apt to be high IQ.
Nancy: true
Marcy: Well, it is a known fact that people with anxiety disorders
Marcy: are known to be intelligent.
John: Marcy, sorry if this is gross, but Nancy and I were talking. Do you have a fear of diarrhea
Nancy: so the rest of the population is just too stupid to be scared?
John: Or maybe they don't seek help or identify themselbes as anxious
Marcy: Only if I am experiencing nausea along with it.
Marcy: I don't have the same fear of the trots.
Nancy: me either
John: Me too. Nancy and I noticed that when others vomit, we get diarrhea, which supports my idea
John: that our brains have rebelled.
Marcy: I think that my tendency is more to get diarrhea.
Nancy: I have been called rebellious on several occasions
Nancy: mine also
Marcy: I also have irritable bowel syndrome, and diarrhea is the
John: Nancy's children vomit frequently without fear too. I think we fear because we're inexperie
Marcy: symptom I get.
Nancy: <---fellow IBS suffererer
Nancy: its the shits ain't it Marcy?
John: But here's the rub: I DON'T WANT ANY MORE EXPERIENCE!!!
Marcy: Me neither!
Nancy: ditto
Nancy: is your son okay Marcy?
John: I think our fear has to do with why we're vomit free... 55 years among us.
Nancy: I forgot how old he is
John: I think when a child vomits, it's very traumatic, and when you don't vomit as an adolescent
John: or adultm, you never overcome that trauma.
John: But you did, Nancy, and you're just like us now?
Marcy: There was one time when I did throw up -- when I was 13
Marcy: and it was o.k.
John: How was it OK?
Marcy: It wasn't traumatic. And I think this was because my
Nancy: I can remember wondering what I had been so scared of after it was over
Marcy: father was with me, and managed to comfort me, and make
Marcy: it seem like the normal thing to do.
Marcy: But that was the only time.
John: Well, my parents were always supportive and here I am.
Marcy: However, that gives me hope that it was possible once
John: Marcy, while you were gone I figured I've gone 2/3 of my life without vomiting.
Nancy: I hav gone damn near 1/3
Marcy: Well maybe you will go the rest of your life without having
Marcy: to.
Marcy: Maybe you just don't need to.
Nancy: God forbid if I ever have to have chemo
John: I can live with that...
John: That is my worst fear, Sheri! I think.
Nancy: one of mine too...I'll die first
Marcy: I know! That's what I dread. And my father died of cancer.
John: I read an article once by a woman who I suspect was one of us...
Marcy: But you know what! He had chemo and didn't throw up.
John: she said she'd only vomited 5 times in her life and then never vomited from the chemo
Nancy: but did he FEEL nauseated?
Nancy: I am scared of the feeling of nausea
Marcy: No. He was given compazine, and didn't feel nauseated.
John: I don't know if I'd mind the nausea if I knew I wouldn't vomit.
Nancy: wow...I will mak a note of that drug
Marcy: But at the very end, before he died and his insides were
John: I've heard THC is the same... made from marijuana.
Marcy: all mestatisized (sp?) he did throw up once.
Nancy: sorry to hear that...:(
John: I'm not sure what nausea is...
Marcy: I think that's what was so scarey for me when I had my
Nancy: me either.like Isaid, I mistake nausea for hunger
Marcy: bad incident of gastroent. at 9.
Marcy: I suddenly had a strong sensation of nausea and tahen
John: My rule is, if I'd want to eat, I'm not nauseated.
Marcy: then I threw up with no warning.
Nancy: I had no warning at all......maybe THAT is key!
John: Vomiting without warning is what made me phobic too.
Nancy: mine too
Marcy: Maybe that is what makes it so scarey for us.
Nancy: come to think of it...I had no warning during labor either
Marcy: Really?
John: But the worst time was when I was 10... my mom told me I was going to throw up. Three hours
John: later, I proved her right.
Marcy: It's amazing you held out that long though. Most little
Nancy: NO WARNING AT ALL Marcy, I threw up all over my anesthesiologist
Marcy: kids throw up almost immediately.
Marcy: That would be scarey even as an adult, Nancy.
John: But I had been phobic for two years. Like I said earlier, I held out until I was tired of
Nancy: it was awful
John: feeling sick, so I took a few deep breaths and then vomited.
Nancy: how did you know you were going to ?
John: I think my mom telling me was the worst part... it made it so ominous.
Marcy: Did you manange to avoid throwing up when having your
Marcy: second child, Nancy?
Nancy: yes....
Marcy: I give you credit getting pregnant the 2nd time.
Nancy: and I had eaten like a pig beforehand
Nancy: it was kind of an accident Marcy
Marcy: after the 1st incident I might not have.
Nancy: I was on the pill
Marcy: I'm too scared now to go through pregnancy a 2nd time.
John: How did I know what?
Nancy: how did you know you were going to vomit?
John: My mom told me. I had a little bit of diarrhea and she felt my forehead and said I was
John: going to throw up. I resisted for three hours.
Nancy: but how did you know THE moment had arrived?
Marcy: Did you just finally throw up because you let yourself do
Marcy: it finally?
John: I think I was just frustrated. I must have been feeling nauseated (although I
John: am not sure I would know nausea) and was having little spurts of diarrhea during the
John: three hours. I think I was fed up and decided mom was right and it was
John: time to end it.
Nancy: WOW! what a brave soul!
Marcy: I know.
John: Yes, Marcy, I think I could have held on a lot longer if I had not given in such a moment
John: of weakness. Please note that I have not had a similar incident in 20 years.
Nancy: noted
John: I felt better instantly, the diarrhea stopped, and I wondered why I had been afraid of
Nancy: well.......I must fly. I am late for my agorophobia support group
John: nothing for 2 years. But later that day, my phobia came back.
Marcy: Bye Nancy! See you again soon!
Nancy: nothin like on-line therapy
John: Have you learned anything useful, Nancy?
Nancy: indeed I have. I thank you so much for your info
Nancy: It was a pleasure meeting you
Nancy: and I am sure we will talk again
John: See you next time, Nancy!
Nancy: Marcy, it was great "seeing" you also
Marcy: Bye!
Nancy: till next time....STAY HEALTHY@
Nancy: !