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This is the story of an emetophobic named Marge who was apparently cured of her emetophobia after a nasty bout with gastroenteritis in April 2001. She had suffered from emetophobia for 43 years and had not vomited in 37 years. These are excerpts of messages she sent to an online emetophobia support group at the time. They are reprinted here with her permission.
April 27, 2001 7:47 PM EDT
After 37 years and approximately 5 weeks, it finally happened. I have had eight vomiting episodes so far today. I am praying it is over. I went to work this morning and felt fine. About 11:30 I started to feel nauseated. I must have looked awful, because my Lieutenant told me to go home and my Sergeant offered to drive me. You know I felt awful because I let him. I felt so bad, I thought it was a reaction to my doc taking me off the heart meds so I called him. We finally got through around 3:30 and he told my husband to bring me right in.
Well, I had already had the dry heaves once, but when I stood up to get ready, I ran. That was the first episode. I was in shock. I took a container in the car with me never dreaming I would use it. I made it to the office, but just inside the door I had to use the trash can. I was moritfied, but there is just no stopping it. The doc said it was the dreaded stomach virus. He had just had another case today of the same thing. Well, I had two more episodes on the way home and four more after getting home. The last three were very violent. I hope and pray this is over.
I became very thirsty so I figured I am dehydrated. So I have been eating ice chips with cola syrup for the last half hour. The doc gave me a slip to go to the hospital for IV if I think I am dehydrated, but if this stays down, I don't think I will.
I needed so badly to get this off my chest to someone who would understand. Thanks to all of you who read this for me.
Marge
Marge experienced no further vomiting, and only 90 minutes after writing that first message, she was telling the group how she was feeling cured. She also related that she had never told her husband about her emetophobia.
April 27, 2001 9:15 PM EDT
Thanks for your response. I feel pretty good as long as I keep chewing these ice chips. I haven't vomited since about 6 o'clock and it is about 9 now. Please try not to fear it. Just because I vomited doesn't mean you will. I feared the worst for so many years, now it seems such a shame because I lived through it and I am Ok. I really don't know how I will fear if I have to face it again. Somehow I just don't think I will fear it quite as intensely. My biggest fear has always been someone else, so now my biggest fear is my husband will catch it because he drove me to the docs and also emptied things for me. Please try to say to yourself, "if it happens, I will survive." I have been saying that for a while now because for the last six years, I have been trying desparately to live a normal life. I am trying now to say that to myself it he catches it. Well, we will see.
Again, I am sorry to upset you or anyone else but I just had to get it off my chest. You see, my husband still doesn't know about my fear. When I was in "action" this afternoon, he kept yelling over and over "For God's sake you are only throwing up, you're not dying" because I do recall saying "oh please make this stop." Anway, take care and thanks again.
Marge
(emphasis added)
Marge shared her personal vomiting history with the group in the middle of the night and said she was closer to bring cured.
April 28, 2001 3:08 AM EDT
Thanks to all who responded. I really appreciate all of your support. This was a very traumatic experience for me. The last time I vomited was in March the year I was twelve. The last time I could compare this episode was when I was ten and had food poisoning. You are all going to think I puked out my brains, but it was probably a positive thing that it was so violent and so many times. It is now around three am. I can't sleep. I feel a little nauseated and I am not panicky. If it happens, it happens. Now I don't know how I will feel down the road, but for tonight I am not afraid because I feel like it couldn't be any worse than it was this afternoon. ***
Take care, and thanks again,
Marge
The next day, Marge answered some of the questions members of the group had posed to her. She says that if she feels the need to vomit in the future, she will let it happen instead of fighting it, a sure sign that an emetophobe has been cured.
April 28, 2001 10:14 - 10:19 AM EDT
In the beginning I fought it for about three hours which was normal for me to do. I used all of the techniques that I have acquired over the years. This time nothing worked and it just happened. There was no time to be panicky. It just happened, and it happened so many times that by the last two or three, I just felt like "Oh no here it comes again" and I went into the bathroom and actually "let" it happen.
Today, I feel like it was a dream, but I also still feel pretty nauseated. I am not scared, I don't want it to happen, but if it does I think I can just "let it." I don't know how I am going to feel later on, but I really can't imagine ever being terrified again like I have been for the past 40+ years. It is really a weird feeling. *** I really hope I can keep this attitude. So, I really think it did help my emet.
Marge
(emphasis added)
Another day later, Marge was still hoping she was cured for good.
April 29, 2001 8:44 AM EDT
I am one of the "older" emetophobes. LOL! I feel remarkably calm. I am not concerned about it, I honestly feel if it happens again, "it happens." This is a weird feeling. I hope it doesn't change.
Take care,
Marge
(emphasis added)
Later that day, Marge explained why she hid her emetophobia from her husband.
April 29, 2001 7:11 PM EDT
My husband is the type of person who just can't believe some people feel certain things. I'm not sure how to explain it, but he just can't believe everyone doesn't think the same as him. It has been extremely difficult hiding it from him. We have had many differences as a result of my not wanting to do things like go on vacation with friends and share rooms etc., etc. I really don't know how I have lived with him everday, through all of his heart attacks and managed to keep it from him. I just know this, I can never tell him because he would make so much fun of me it would make me ten times worse or we would be divorced.
Marge reported that not only is she unconcerned about whether she will vomit, she was able to keep from panicking when her husband reported the onset of a stomach virus.
April 30, 2001 10:53 PM EDT
Thanks for the support. I am feeling so strange. I just have such a calm feeling about the whole thing. It is almost like it was a dream. I really think it helped my emet, at least for me. Yesterday my husband said he felt weird and thought he may be getting what I had. My first impulse was to panic. Then I said "no if you can go through all of that yourself, then just sit here and see what happens." I did. Guess what? Nothing happened. This is such a weird feeling. Thanks again.
Take care,
Marge
(emphasis added)
A few weeks later, Marge let the group know her emetophobia had not returned despite an incidence of nausea. Significantly, she was feeling nauseated much less often then before.
May 20, 2001 8:47 PM EDT
Well, it has been three weeks since my vomiting episode and I thought I would give everyone an update. I find that surviving the "episode" has changed my attitude significantly. I find that I do not feel nauseated on a daily basis as I did prior to the "episode." I have only felt nauseated once and I told myself that if it happens it happens. I am trying to keep that attitude.
I almost wish it would happen again. I am afraid that if too much time goes by, I will fall back into that fear. I am trying to "relive" the whole thing in mind from time to time, so that I will not slip back into that "rut" of thinking. I still want NO part of anyone else vomiting especially the sound. As for me, I can say I won't enjoy it by any means, but I don't fear it like I used to at all. This is a strange new feeling for me. I must say it changes the way I feel about many things. I know most of you must think I am nuts. Before my "episode" I would have too.
Take care,
Marge