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This is the story of Jacqueline, an emetophobe from Kansas who was going through CBT and decided to induce herself to vomit using ipecac to cure herself of emetophobia. It didn't work.
Ok, I hope this doesn't bother you -- I stopped eating almost everything for about a year and a half. I found a really understanding and wonderful doctor who I totally trusted and really talked me through the CBT process. There were two parts I had to do. The first was to get me eating again and the second was to throw up. The eating part was slow but so easy and wonderful and I really trusted him on the throwing up part. Unfortunately, I'm a stuborned ass who tends to do her own thing, and so by the time I got to the foods that were 10's on my list of anxiety foods (alcohol, mexican food--whatever), I was pretty full of myself. I was running out of time in Kansas (where the doctor was) and really thought that I just needed to jump in feet first with the ipecac!
I was headed down to Florida on Spring break to see my father (who is amazingly supportive and very psychologically aware). We decided to do it there because I feel so safe around him. (He's the one I used to call at 3 am with panic attacks). All of my friends knew what I was going to do and were incredibly supportive, and a few got me "post-puke gifts" to be opened upon the deed being done).
I was pretty doped up on Xanax for the flight and when I got to my dad's he told me that he had already gotten the ipecac. The plan was to do it the following am, but I was kind of ready and there was way too much pressure on the next day, so we decided to just do it. I took two more Xanax, ate a plate of plain pasta so as not to despise the food that I ultimately threw up and took a tablespoon of ipecac. The second I swallowed it I knew what a bad idea it was. I didn't freak out because I was pretty doped up, but somewhere in the back of my brain I was really unhappy with what I was doing. Ipecac takes about a half hour so I just sat in the bathroom and waited. I wasn't nauseated at all, which is another reason it was a bad idea. It's really unnatural.
I had two solid episodes of vomiting and then I just sobbed and sobbed and took a triple dose of compazine. I cried for a few hours afterwards--the actual experience wasn't that bad, as most people confirm, but the waiting was torture and the violent way in which you're just all of a sudden throwing up was pretty bad. Also, waiting for the 2nd round was sucky.
I was pretty hooked on compazine for a good month or two, but it eased itself. I don't think I could do it again but who knows... I hope this helped or was at least interesting?